Excuses I've Used #3: I'm Sorry But I've Got Kids...

"Start off a child on the way they should go,
           and even when they are old they will not turn from it"

Proverbs 22v6

From the minute I first held my first child, something I had suspected all my life was confirmed to me. If it came to it, I could kill a man with my bare hands. (My husband was horrified when I said this out loud).

I often see on social media and hear from my friends that 'My kids are my world'. And I totally understand that feeling. 

John Calvin said 'Our hearts are an idol factory'. My biggest idol since 2011 has been my kids. Now, let me get one thing straight, we should love our kids. We should want to encourage them, provide for them and yes, even want to kill a man to protect them. BUT...

They are not who, or what, we should worship. 

Why am I saying this?

Because, in our 21st Century, 1st world lives, the 2 most worshipped things are our kids and our comfort.

I have been guilty of both time and time again. 

My kids and practising hospitality has been the thing I have made the most mistakes in and learned the most in. And still is.

Now having kids does mean life changes. There are things you can no longer do anymore...

Stay up passed 10pm

Eat a hot meal

Pee alone

And while my primary calling is to be a godly wife and mam, the Bible doesn't excuse me from being hospitable because I have children.

When we first started to try and do biblical hospitality we had 3 children under the age of 4. I was convinced that they would all end up addicts, prostitutes or criminals because I was giving up time with them to spend time with other people.

I worried a lot about the effect it would have on them.

I was convinced they would grow up feeling second place other people.

I was convinced they would feel they couldn't talk to me because I hadn't been listening to their every word from the moment they were born.

I was convinced they would develop mental health issues.

That they wouldn't feel loved enough.

I would spent copious amounts of time wondering what they would say about me when they were older.

I got sucked into thinking of all the things that could go wrong. And then something happened.

My sister-in-law (a much more godly woman than I am) and I had taken our kids to the park. I was crying about how awful my kids lives had become because we were being so hospitable and generally throwing a pity party while I pushed my niece on the swing. I got the end of my list of all the terrible things I was inflicting on my kids, as we watched them playing in the park without a care in the world, and she said,

"I don't see it like that at all. Your kids SEE the gospel everyday. They can't avoid it. All that you're doing, with all those people, is giving them a real vision of what it means to love Jesus. They're really lucky"

And just like that, in the middle of the park, I understood why God doesn't excuse us from hospitality when we have children. It's because He can use it to teach them about Him, and we can use it to "teach them the way they should go"

In practising hospitality with my children it's already fulfilling my job as a Christian mother, because they are seeing the gospel in action rather than just hearing it from the Jesus Storybook Bible.

In the time I spent worrying about the effect of having people round our house all the time would have on my kids, my kids have learnt the meaning of sacrifice. 

In all the times I inwardly cried because I wasn't hanging on my kids' every babbled word, they were learning patience. 

In all the times I worried about the effect it would have on their mental health or what they would say about me when they were older, or whether they felt second place to the hordes of others who trampled through the door, they learnt how to share the gospel, how to look after the sick and how important Jesus really was to me.

I was teaching them about Jesus and what it means to follow Him...and I hadn't noticed.

And we've by no means done it perfectly. 

Yes, sometimes they complain about it. Yes, sometimes I've said no to someone else coming round because my kids need just 'us' time. But I can honestly say it's been the best visual example of Jesus I've given them...and I've done A LOT of Sunday School crafts.

My kids are actually better at hospitality than me or my husband are. They're better at evangelism too. They will invite people over at the drop of a hat and constantly bring a stream of their mates with them to youth groups and in for tea. When someone they've never met comes over they whisper in my ear "Mam, do they know about Jesus?" and if the answer is no, they'll sidle up to them with the Big Picture Bible, plonk themselves on their knee, and read THEM a story from it.

And this is NOT because of the fantastic example we've set them (I've never sat on anyone's knee to tell them about Jesus). We've made more mistakes than I can even remember, but somehow the gospel of Jesus has got though to them anyway, Praise the Lord that He is gracious.

I'm not saying this to make you think my kids are amazing (although if you think otherwise,  I'll just remind you about my killing ability above). I'm saying it because it's actually amazing to see them living this way as if it's normal! They think that this is what Jesus would do, and that everyone in church is doing it!

I spent a long time thinking having children was an excuse to hide away until they grew up. It's not. It's a opportunity to teach them the gospel.

My kids being my world is not enough. It's not enough for them to get what they actually need in this life. They need Jesus. They need to see their need for Jesus. Them being the centre of my universe teaches them nothing of the God who is actually at the centre of the universe. 

It's been one of the hardest lessons.

It's required me to give up control over their lives, and place them in the hands of God. Required me to trust that He has plans and purposes for them. Trust that He knows every hair on their heads and directs their steps. That He is all they need. 

And He is.